Some people never make an attempt at a big goal they had in life because they always plan on starting tomorrow. Others are too fearful to ever make the attempt. Which one are you?
You tend to self-sabotage because it’s not the idea of actually being successful that terrifies you, it’s the steps you have to take to get there. The success associated with being the best at what you do invites compliments but also opens the door to negativity which is terrifying. Fear has a way of keeping us stuck in place.
This Fear of standing out cripples a lot of us. All we can think of and imagine are the bad things that will happen, all the bad things people will say. Minimize those negative thoughts by thinking of the good things that can happen by you contributing your best to the world. I promise that list will always be longer.
This fear of standing out comes from three places.
1. Fear of what other people think
Have you ever been in a work environment or even out with friends, where you were listening to someone’s opinion on a subject and to your core you disagreed wholeheartedly with them but you pretended not to, just to avoid any negative backlash?
2. Fear of being left behind
This brings most of us to our high school and middle school days. Actually enjoying going to class, doing Homework and getting straight A’s, was not the popular thing to do in school. So, what did we all do naturally, we held ourselves back to fit in with our friends.
3. The pressure of expectations
Many can relate to this: You are in a work setting, you start performing really well, which catches the attention of your supervisor.
All of a sudden, he knows who you are, says good morning more often than before walking down the hall, even greets you by name, it’s a great feeling.
Shortly after, those compliments you receive for doing well start to feel like a constant pressure to produce. Those walks down the hallway become constant reminders of how well you did or didn’t perform the day before.
Eventually the pressure of those expectations being put on you over and over again causes you to do less than you know you are capable of; you do this to avoid that constant spotlight. Before you know it, those hellos walking down the hallway slowly diminish, and eventually you blend back into the fold with the rest of your coworkers. Back to where you started.
Pressure only exits when you are doing something for others and not yourself. Find what you are passionate about and you will naturally put your all into it and want to be the best at it.
Always do you best
Fight those instincts that make you want to quit with everything you have. Remember that ultimately that’s what success is, a series of good habits repeated day in and day out.
There are some things that we should all do for ourselves. Making an attempt at something we want but are scared of should be one of those things. There is always something amazing on the other side of fear.
Remember The happiness or success you’re looking for might not come from accomplishing your goal, but you will certainly get it from the pursuit of your goals. You might even realize that you are already happy once you get there.